


the challenge of being us

by tsunderekat



Series: this is us [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, But mostly angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied Mpreg, Insecurity, M/M, Mental Instability, Non-Canon Relationship, Not Canon Compliant, Some Humor, angst angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 19:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18645037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsunderekat/pseuds/tsunderekat
Summary: Naruto is enjoying catching up with his friends, when the inevitable question pop's up:“What about you Naruto?” Asked Kiba. “Are you and Gaara planning to start a family anytime soon?”In which Naruto handles Gaara's insecurities, Gaara handles Naruto's rage, bread rolls and unsolicited advice are shared all around, and Aoi saves the day.





	the challenge of being us

**Author's Note:**

> Links, indirectly, into my multi-chapter WIP 'Glasshouse'.

 

 

> _I've never regretted not having children. My mindset in that regard has been constant. I objected to being born, and I refuse to impose life on someone else. ~ Robert Smith_

“Naruto pass the bread.”

Naruto smiled and passed it down the table. He watched Shikamaru intercept the basket to drop a couple of rolls on his plate before passing it on to Choji.

“ _Oi_ I asked first!”

“That's why.” Shikamaru muttered. He cut one roll in half and buttered it liberally.

“Sharing is caring Choji.” Laughed Ino.

“What about self-care, _huh_?” He turned towards her, giving Shikamaru an opening to pinch a pickle off his plate. He sliced it finely, layered it on the bread then slid it over onto Temari’s plate. She leaned over, and without breaking her conversation with Neji, gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Pickles, _huh_?” Asked Hinata, looking pointedly at Temari’s plate. “Cravings?” Shikamaru sighed. “It’s your second right?”

“Third.” Shikamaru said. He didn’t hold it against her. Living in Suna, they barely ever got to come down to Konoha.

“Congratulations!”

“Thanks, I guess.” Temari turned and smacked him on the arm.

“ _Ow_.” He deadpanned.

“Try sounding a little more excited, won’t you?”

“I am.”

“What about you Hinata?” Temari asked. Hinata blushed and looked away.

“We’re expecting twins in November.” She said, looking over at Kiba who had his hand resting on the back of her chair, chatting with Shino.

“Oh my god! Congratulations! Twins are a blessing.”

“What are you talking about? Twins are a complete nightmare!” Exclaimed Ino from where she sat two seats down.

“I remember when I had mine, I couldn’t get out of bed for a week.”

“That’s because you had Akimichi babies. We’re good stock.” Said Choji. Ino smacked him.

“More like freakishly huge stock.”

“ _Ei_ woman, stop molesting me in public!”

“What?! Me molest you? _Ha_ you wish! Just for that you’re sleeping on the couch.”

“ _Pfft_ you can’t kick me out. You need my counter weight on that mattress to stop you from rolling off.” He said, patting her heavily swollen belly.

“I’ll get a boulder.” She looked him over thoughtfully. “Maybe two.”

“ _Oi_!”

“ _Haha_ you two never change do you?” Laughed Naruto.

“Well we can’t all be Lord Hokage.” sighed Shikamaru.

“Hey, you’re married to the Kazekage, what are you complaining about?” Shikamaru looked at Temari.

“Yeah, it’s pretty sweet.” He conceded, without much enthusiasm. She gave him a wink and took a bite of her bread.

“What about you Naruto?” Asked Kiba. “Are you and Gaara planning to start a family anytime soon?” Naruto shrugged.

“When Gaara’s ready he’ll let me know.” He said. Truth was this wasn’t the first time a question like this popped up around the table. Out of all of them Naruto and Gaara were the first to bond. They’d been together for over a decade – twice as long as Kiba and Hinata.

At first it’d been ok, gentle ribbing from friends, crude advise from Jiraiya. But since becoming Hokage two years earlier, these expectations had grown to include public scrutiny. Community leaders, feudal lords and political rivals all voiced their dissatisfaction that the Lord Hokage had yet to produce a single heir. Fertility was put into question, until Tsunade insisted on giving them both medical exams. They were, of course, perfectly healthy. It wasn’t anything physical that held them back. In fact, if it weren’t for Gaara’s diligent use of suppressants, they would have had a hoard of children by now. Images from the night before invaded Naruto's mind. He flushed. No, their problem certainly wasn’t physical.

“But I mean, it’s been over a decade right? Why haven’t you… _Ow_!” Kiba grabbed his side where Hinata planted her elbow.

“Don’t mind him Naruto-kun.” She spoke with a gentle smile. “It will happen when you’re both ready.” Naruto smiled back. He’d always held a soft spot for Hinata. In fact, if he hadn’t met Gaara, he was almost certain they would have bonded.

“Or it could happen with someone else.” Said Sasuke, from where he sat across from Naruto. They were still on uneven turf ever since Naruto pardoned Sasuke and allowed him back into the village, but lately Naruto felt like he was making a bigger effort to restore their friendship. He was still an asshole though.

“Sasuke!” Sakura sounded outraged. “Don’t say things like that!”

“What? It’s true. The Hokage can have up to three Omegas. It’s the law.”

“ _Can_ doesn’t mean he _has to_ , baka!”

“Maybe not, but if the political pressure doesn’t ease up he might have no choice.”

“Sasuke!” Sakura had one hand on the pickle dish and looked ready to hitting Sasuke over the head with it. Naruto, wisely, decided to step in.

“It’s ok Sakura. He has a point. The pressure has been getting out of hand. To be completely honest, I’m not sure how much more of it we can handle.” He sighed.

“Have you considered taking on another Omega?” Asked Shino. The table went quiet. Almost imperceptibly Neji tilted his head to the side, causing the light to play enticingly across the pale curve of his neck. Sasuke glared at him from across the table. Neji met his eyes with a smirk.

“You should, you know.” Said Sasuke. “They will inevitably force you to marry someone from another village. You might as well beat them to the punch and choose someone yourself. Someone –.” He held Naruto’s eyes. “Close to you.”

“ _Uh_ …” Somewhere behind Naruto something ceramic shattered. He spun around. Gaara was standing in the doorway, looking forlornly at what remained of the dish. “I… _ah_ … I was on my break and thought I’d…”

“Gaara…” Naruto whispered. Gaara took a couple of steps back, keeping his eyes firmly on the ground.

“I… I’ll just go…” He spun around and ran from the room. Naruto jumped and ran after him.

“Gaara, wait!”

“Gaara!” gasped Temari, struggling to push back her chair. Shikamaru held her in. “Let me go!” She yelled.

“No.” He said. “Let them talk it out.”

“He’s my brother!”

“And Naruto’s mate.” He said.

“He needs me!”

“Not right now.”

“I…”

“I know you want to help.” Shikamaru’s tone was gentle, shocking everyone at the table. “But right now he needs Naruto. We’ll stop by and see him later ok?”

“I…” She hesitated, but eventually nodded. “Ok.”

* * *

 

Outside the weather was getting colder. Autumn was drawing to a close and winter was fast approaching, bringing with it the promise of snow. Gaara ran out the front and now stood leaning against the wall of the pub, studying the stars. He was so deep in thought he barely noticed when someone else arrived and came to stand beside him. Well, that was a lie. He would recognise that scent anywhere.

“Gaara?”

“What do you want?”

“Can we talk?”

“Do we have to?”

“I think we do.” Gaara shrugged.

“Then talk.” Naruto sighed.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

“Which part?” Naruto looked at him. “The part about taking on another Omega, or the part about us not coping with the pressure.”

“ _Ah_ …” Gaara folded his arms across his chest and dropped his gaze.

“Don’t be sorry. What you said was true after all.”

“It’s not true…”

“Which part?”

“Stop that!”

“Stop what?”

“This nonchalant, walking-around-in-circles, conversation. Just. Stop.” Naruto took off his jumper and pulled it over Gaara’s head. Garra kept his arms firmly crossed. “Put this on or you’ll catch a cold.” Gaara had ran out in his uniform, a simple black tank top and jeans. Already, goose bumps were peppering his arms. “Don’t be stubborn. Come on.” Reluctantly, he uncrossed his arms and pulled the jumper the rest of the way down. He glanced at Naruto, now only in a white t-shirt.

“What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me.” Gaara scowled

“You always do that.” He snapped. Naruto looked confused.

“Do what?”

“Spoil me.”

“I don’t spoil you.” Gaara rolled his eyes.

“You’ve been spoiling me since before we got together.”

“How so?” Laughed Naruto.

“Why haven’t you taken another Omega?” Naruto frowned, he almost looked pained by the question, and Gaara almost regretted asking it, but they needed to talk this out.

“I can’t believe you would even ask me that.” He sounded sad. “You know you’re the only one for me.”

“Well obviously _I’m_ not enough. You're being selfish if you think I am.”

“Gaara…”

“You’re the Hokage now, you belong to the people. Take another Omega.”

“Gaara...”

“We have a guest room. I’ll move in there –.”

“Gaara. Stop.”

“We can clear out my studio and make a nursery.”

“Gaara!” Gaara jumped. Naruto hardly ever shouted. When he did it was usually because he was caught up in a really intense training session, or a really good fuck. He turned to look at him. Naruto's cheeks were flushed, eyes narrowed. He looked pissed. “If you’re unsatisfied with me that’s fine.” He snarled, Kurama emerging in his inhuman growl. “But I’ll be damned if I let you, or anyone else, tell me who to love and how to run my life. Are we clear?”

Gaara stared. Naruto’s fists were clenched at his sides and he was breathing hard. Red chakra radiated through his t-shirt in fine wisps of smoke. Anyone who came across the Hokage in this state would know better than to stick around. But of course Gaara, gourd-less and vulnerable, just stepped forward and engulfed him in his arms. “Breath.” He whispered, rubbing the sleeves of his jumper up and down Naruto’s arms. They stood like that for a long moment, until Naruto’s heart stopped racing. Only then did Gaara pull away to look at him.

“I see the anger management classes are going well.” He said. Naruto snorted and let his head drop onto Gaara’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m a changed man.”

“I can see that.” Naruto sighed.

“I just…I just hate it, you know?” Gaara nodded. “I can’t stand the way they look at you! Like you’re some damaged, useless thing. They don’t know you! They don’t see how wonderful you are! I hate it! I hate them!” Gaara hushed him, running a soothing hand through his hair.

“I know.” This is different, Gaara observed. Usually their roles were reversed, and it was Naruto nursing him through an episode, not the other way around. Not that Naruto was having an episode, not like Gaara did. Ever since they got together Gaara’s mental state had stabilized significantly. He regained the ability to feel empathy. Learned how to express himself to other people, and even made friends. But, perhaps most important of all, he learned how to love and be loved. How to accept being cherished. And still, once in a while the terror emerged. It started with nightmares, one after another, for days on end, until insomnia drove him to paranoia. _‘Do you honestly think anyone could ever love you?’ ‘How long will this last before he tries to kill you too?’_ Eventually the voices would get so bad, he’d leave the village and wonder the forest for days, until Naruto would eventually track him down and dragged him home. Tsunade would knock him out with a cocktail of drugs, and he’d sleep for a week, only to wake up like it’d never happened.

Then maybe a month of peace, maybe two, maybe a year, but eventually the nightmares would resurface, and the cycle of terror would start again. Naruto had been supportive and understanding since the first time he’d seen an episode, when the gourd put him in a coma for a week. Since then he’d been more careful, but even so he’d never escaped an episode unscathed. The demon was out for blood, and didn’t discriminate where it got it.

This was the real reason Gaara refused to have children. Knowing what he is, how could he ever be sure that nothing would happen to them? How could he live with himself if anything did? And Naruto? He’d never be able to forgive him. The thought of Naruto having another lover was heartbreaking, but so was feeling like a burden to the man you love. He knew Naruto would be testy for the rest of the night, but the idea of leaving this discussion for another day terrified Gaara more than the possibility of another outburst. He closed his eyes and thought on how best to approach this. Finally he said.

“Naruto, listen to me. You know very well why I can’t have children. Even if we find a way to control my episodes, the thought of passing on to our children whatever my mother passed on to me, is terrifying. I would never wish this upon anyone.” Naruto stiffened, but stayed quiet. Gaara took it as a good sign and continued. “The political pressure is getting out of hand, and it’s only a matter of time before it hits breaking point. As much as it pains me to admit that Uchiha could be right about anything, the reality is that unless you choose a second Omega soon they might challenge you for the post of Hokage. You might be forced to step down, and I know it will break your heart.” Naruto grunted in disagreement and tried to pull away. “No wait!” Gaara held tight. He wasn’t sure he could finish what he had to say if he was looking at Naruto.

“Listen. If you really take a moment to think about it you’ll agree with me. I know you don’t want to hurt me, and I won’t lie and say I won’t be hurt seeing you with someone else, but I want you to be happy, and I know you’ve never been as happy as when you were made Hokage.” Garra pulled away, looking over Naruto’s shoulder. “Also, I’ve seen you at the Academy. You’re good with children. I know you’ll make a wonderful father, and I can’t take that away from you.” He finished. Naruto caught his gaze and held it thoughtfully.

“Are you finished?” He said. Gaara nodded. “Good. Now listen to me. You’re afraid of hurting our children when you’re out of control. But you’re not the only one. I have moments too, moments of fury and irrational anger. Therapy is helping, but that doesn’t mean I don’t recognize my own potential for violence. You talk about your episodes, as though I haven’t lived with you long enough to spot them a mile away. I know what triggers you Gaara. Why do you think you haven’t had an episode in almost two years? Because I’ve been careful to keep you away from anything that can set you off. Even when you have an episode, it doesn’t have to escalate if you’d just admit to me you’re not sleeping. Tsunade can give you sleeping pills before your insomnia gets out of control.” Naruto put both hands on Gaara’s shoulders and shook him.

“Finally, you’re worried about passing on the demon. Do you think I’m not worried about passing on Kurama? But I know it won’t happen, because these creatures are sealed in us, but are not part of us.” Gaara blinked. He’d never thought of it like that. True, his birth was contaminated by unusual circumstances, but he’d never thought of himself as separate to the monster. He and it were one, weren’t they? “I know what you’re thinking, but I consulted Tsunade, Jiraiya and Orochimaru, and they all agree that a demon is unlikely to pass on to the child. But even if they’re wrong. Even if our baby carries a demon spirit, would you honestly love them any less? I know I wouldn’t. I fell in love with you the way you are, and I’d like to think that Kurama had never been a deciding factor in how you feel about me.” He smirked. Gaara laughed. They both knew that wasn’t quite true. “Well…not really anyway.”

“You’re awfully persistent, aren’t you?” Naruto gave an offhanded shrug.

“I do what I can.” Gaara laughed. “Oh and also you’re wrong if you think the happiest day of my life was when I became Hokage. That might have been the ambition of my life, but I’ve never been happier than the day we bonded.” Gaara stared at him.

“You know you’re a weird Alpha.” He finally laughed.

“How so?” Naruto looked genuinely puzzled. Gaara resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“You have the privilege, unique only to the Hokage, to have multiple Omega’s, and you adamantly refuse to make use of it. Then I give you permission to take another lover, and you almost blow your top. Jiraiya won’t be proud that’s for sure.”

“Hey! He doesn’t do that… anymore.” Naruto finished lamely. “At least I don’t think he does, Orochimaru seems to be keeping him pretty busy.” Gaara snorted.

“I bet.” Naruto stepped away and rubbed his arms.

“We should probably go in.”

“Alright, but first.” Gaara leaned over and kissed Naruto. “I love you. Ok lets go.”

“And you say I spoil you?” Naruto said, running ahead to hold the door for Gaara. The moment they stepped inside Aoi accosted Gaara.

“Where have you been?” Gaara opened his mouth to reply, but Aoi was already dragging him away.

“You know what. Never mind. Just hurry up and get behind the bar.”

“I’ll wait for you to finish your shift.” Naruto yelled over the sound of music and general chatter.

“Alright.” Gaara yelled back, already half way across the room.

“We should try doing the thing tonight.” Gaara could barely make out the words.

“What thing?” He wasn’t sure he heard correctly.

“You know, the baby making thing.” As luck would have it the band cut out a second before Naruto spoke. All eyes fell on them. The bar dropped into awkward silence. Gaara’s face rivalled his hair. 

“Honestly,” sighed Aoi. “You married an idiot.” Then louder he said. “With all due respect most honourable Lord Hokage, I don’t care what thing you have planned for after his shift, but right now Gaara’s got to do his thing behind the bar. If that’s all right with you?” Naruto gave a full body jerk that looked suspiciously like a spasm. A few people laughed. “Alright then. Can we have some music please?” Aoi waved at the band and they broke into song.

 _‘Bless you Aoi._ ’ Thought Gaara. He slipped behind the bar and started pulling pints of beer to order. He smirked, thinking about the night ahead. He couldn’t wait to get home.

**Author's Note:**

> reviews are love (sigh)


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